Rainy Day Thoughts
by Amethyst Jewels
Summary: We heard Makoto's story about Ken being there for her, but what is it like for him? I assure you my writing is better than the summary! 08/22/09: Updated with new rating!
1. Thinking it over part 1: Ken's POV

Hey guys! Happy belated Easter!! A time for renewal…perhaps that's why I wrote this? Could be! I'm still determined to finish my Sailor Series! For those who don't know, I told myself years ago as a diehard Sailor Moon fan, I would write a story for each of the inner scouts! I love the outers too but I know more about the inner ones. Heh yeah. So this is potential #4!!!

Anyway, I'm testing the waters with this one. I know most people write Makoto/Motoki or Lita/Andrew fics (I support dub, so either names are fine with me), but I haven't seen a Ken fic yet. So far he only appeared in "A Knight to Remember" in the NA dub. After that he's gone but we know the song "Rainy Day Man" is for him, so I decided to show him some love & write a short narrative from his POV. One good thing is because he's not a developed character, I can mess with him! This is a K+ rated story for right now. I'm being safe because I use a strong curse word. If things change, it'll be noted in future

Disclaimer: If I actually owned this franchise, it would have its own 24/7 channel. Being that it's not on anymore, I guess you know I don't own it. XD!

*~*~*~*

It's happened _again_. Why is it that every bastard she comes across has to hurt her?! Don't they see what they're missing? What they're giving up? Makoto deserves so much better. It's almost as if she was destined for tragedy, first to lose her parents & get bounced around from home to home until she had a judge declare her legally emancipated. It's almost too much to hear let alone bear.

**It's raining.** It always seems to on cue whenever she breaks up with someone. That's probably why she calls me her Rainy Day Man. I'm always there to protect her from the storm. The emotion storms she has to go through. Like clockwork I wait. I know he's not the one. Makoto calls me in tears and I drop everything to come over and hold her. All because some BOY has hurt her again. At times it's frustrating because…because I love her.

How can I say that though? We have such a deep, unwavering friendship that if I tell her and she doesn't feel the same, I may lose what little of her I have. Looking down at her now, we fell asleep on her couch after her rant about what happened on the beach today. That's one reason I'm glad she lives alone. No awkward parent moments…she's so beautiful even in her sorrow. Makoto's always been tomboyish but she has a figure that would depress the most graceful of ballerinas! Long model legs, slender toned arms, a flat stomach, all covered with creamy skin that flushes easily. I must admit sometimes I say things just to see her reaction. Her expressive eyes always draw me in even more than the last time. I always end up brushing her curly hair out her eyes so I can see them…just as a friend of course.

When the Minotaur attacked and I was hurt, she donated the essence of herself to save me. She calls it nothing but to me it was **everything**. Since that day, my feelings have been solidified and I vowed to let her know before it was too late. Coming towards the end of our carefree days and adulthood, I wonder if now is right and if she'll trust me enough. I bet she thinks everyman is the same but I'm not everyman. I'm hers, always have been. Makoto's Rainy Day Man….Her man. Instead of holding the umbrella for her in the rain, I'd rather let it pour & embrace her, letting each drop get the privilege of feeling her knowing I had it all.

Looking out her balcony doors I can see the dark grey clouds going beyond my vision letting it drench the city streets. It's relaxing to lay here and hear it, but the reason behind it burns more than those waters can ever soothe. Why cant it ever rain on a good day…or maybe it is one? Would now be a good time to heal her wounds or would I look like a leech trying to latch onto her at the weakest moment?

I feel a stir on my chest and look down to see Makoto's eyes blink sleepily with a small grin. She always looks so cute waking up from a restful nap…I wonder if I ever mentioned that to her. Watching her sit up and look me over suddenly made me nervous. Did I say something out loud? Could the look my face be a dead giveaway? _Does she feel the exact same way?..._

*~*~*~*

HAAHAHAH!! Yes I left it at a cliffhanger on purpose. I meant this to be short but if I keep at it, I'll give what I may be planning away. This is a short narrative for right now but it may turn into a mini-series if people like the idea or I get some juicy thoughts. I left it vague on the time so I can better develop it & let others get a better feel without trying to remember dates & people. So let me know what you guys think! I accept all forms of criticism except useless flames. Flames are only good for the barbeque pit! ;)


	2. Thinking it over part 2: Makoto's POV

I cant believe summer's almost over! And it's been over 4 months since I posted this. It doesn't seem like that long as past…I tell you, 2009 is flying! I'm just waiting for Halloween now. I got my costume done. I start in August to beat the rush since most of them time I assemble my own junk.

Incase you didn't notice, I upped the rating on the story since I used some mild language & emotions are running ramped, so I did it to be safe.

I normally don't do dedications but if you're taking the time to read this or any other story I've written, hug yourself! Just the thought of people seeing my work & enjoying it motivates me & makes me feel happy. I know I don't write enough to show it because of personal issues & me just wanted to be totally alone for hours to nurse my story to make it just right, but trust me, I love & appreciate every hit, review & message! So thank you! =)

And to **audi katia**, who is awesome in more ways than one, reading your story & seeing how hard you work got me motivated to finally finish at least this one, so this chappie is for you! ::HUG:: Go read her Pavel & Nyota fics!! They're awesome & full of fluffnlove!

*~*~*~*

Makoto's POV

I hate the Supremes. That stupid song about how you can't hurry love basically describes my life. "Give and take"? Some people are just gimme, gimme, gimme and like the lovefool I am, I give until I'm empty. I hate giving my all with these guys I THINK I love only to end up standing alone with nothing to show for it. Had I been a selfish lover, would my outcome be different?

I think it's because I'm an orphan. When my parents died in a plane crash, I lost literally everything. After bouncing around between foster homes and orphanages, I just gave up on finding parental love and decided to strike it out on my own. It was hard at first. My government funding only covers housing costs and though I don't starve on the food stamps, I can only get the basics. Thank God mama taught me how to cook. Spices can really fix some fucked up food! I started doing little weekend jobs and baking for small parties to earn some income so it tides me over.

Yet after all that, I think I'll find love elsewhere and I come up empty. Well not totally. My friends are everything to me and I love my little catering odd jobs, which I hope to turn into a full fledge business, but I have no one special to share it with…THAT special someone. All I want is a guy who can see me at my worse, but love it like it was my best and sit by me during my lows, not just stand by me when I'm on top. I open my heart up to everyone and I just get used. Can you be a slut even if you don't do the deed? I spread my feelings around so much I'm starting to feel that way.

I'm so grateful for Ken, my oldest and best guyfriend. He's always there for me in the ways I described…but only as a friend! We've known each other since preschool so it would be awkward to just start dating…wouldn't it? I do admit sometimes I entertain the notion of us being boyfriend and girlfriend…maybe more. He's so right for me in everyway and we go out often enough to be considered a couple. I think he does it as a favor for me though. No guy in school is very keen on dating a girl just as tall as they are who can beat them up. I never fight until provoked or defending someone yet mostly the skanky girls in cliques or computer geeks spread rumors about me.

Feeling Ken hold me now on the couch in my house is nothing unusual. The method of operation is the same: I call him crying, he comes over and listens to my umpteenth sob story and caresses my hair while telling me how much he never really liked what's his name anyway….yet today, his voice was a little rougher, almost possessive. And his touch was tender, almost like a lover, not a best friend /brother. Could I hope…?

NO! Oh God, why am I feeling like such a girl!? Well I mean, I know I'm a girl but I'm Makoto, the tomboy who's tough, I wouldn't show this side to someone I intimately know. It would be embarrassing…stupid…wonderful. Deep down, I think Ken is exactly what I need…and want.

_Does he feel exactly the same way?_

I'm thinking while I'm half asleep…Maybe I should get up and make something to eat. The rainy sky has been dark for hours, but the slight rumble in my stomach is telling me it's close to dinnertime. I'll cook first then as we eat, I'll casually bring up what's on my mind. I just hope I'm not wrong…

*~*~*~*

After blinking a few times to clear her vision, Makoto looked up at Ken, grinning sleepily in gratitude and gently squeezes his shoulder.

"You deserve a better friend. You could be out with the guys or with a girl who admires you and yet you're here comforting foolish Makoto", she said with a lopsided grin as she sat up. Partly speaking truthfully and partly baiting him, she waited for a response that came up almost immediately.

"Don't say that!", Ken snapped at her, a bit more forcefully than he intended to. Even he was surprised at the sound of his voice. The look of hurt coming over Makoto's face caused a small pain in his chest and he quickly reaches a hand out to grab hers.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out so harsh. I meant to say don't say that about yourself. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be here", came out before Ken could process what he was saying. His breath hitched in his throat leaving his mouth hanging open in surprise.

I may have said too much! Shit, what will she think now? She probably thinks I'm being a typical male trying to pull one over on her too.

Makoto heard Ken's words loud and clear. She knew in her heart that's what she wanted to hear but her mind is telling her to stop and backtrack. She just broke up with her boyfriend less than 6 hours ago and she's thinking of jumping onto Ken next! Rebounding never works, according to those women's magazines she secretly read when she was too embarrassed to talk to the girls.

"I…I cant do this, not now!", Makoto said as she snatched her now small feeling hand from his large one and scrambled to the other side of the sofa because hitting the arm with a small thud. Before she could stand up, Ken was next to her, holding her upper arms gently forcing her to make eye contact with him.

"**Listen**, I know this is bad timing but when does love ever make sense? Mako-chan…I've loved you since I was 4, back in the sandbox. I remember your curly ponytail swinging behind you as you ran in the door with your little green book bag, the smile you had when you greeted me. Hell, I even liked you when you roughhoused. I didn't mind losing because I loved cuddling you when you hugged me for being a good sport. I know the tough persona you throw on stems from when your parents died. Everyone thinks this is the real you but I know you TOO well, I know you…that's the Makoto I always remember and love", Ken professed in a soft whisper. He smiled lightly when he saw a tear forming in the corner of Makoto's eye. This time it wasn't tears of pain, but of happiness, perhaps love.

Makoto gently shrugged off Ken's arms leaving him temporarily baffled before she eased herself over and put her arms around his neck and hugged him, leaning her head on his shoulder. Her nose tickled the nape of his neck before she spoke softly.

"I never told anyone this but the reason I dated so many guys was because I hoped to find someone who was like you to be with…to love me, but I guess you cant duplicate the original, huh?", she giggled lightly before continuing. "After mama and daddy passed away, you were all I had left. I honestly did think of telling you my feelings but…I didn't know if you felt the same or if you did what would happen. I just didn't want to ruin what we already have. The minotaur brought those feelings back up but…a friend is better than nothing right?".

Ken leaned his head onto hers and gently breathed in her scent. Her favorite perfume mixed in with her natural smell was intoxicating. The sweet rosy smell always drove him wild but he kept his distance, but not this time. Nudging her head up to look her in the eyes, he gently shook his head.

"Sometimes, but if we're on the same path…why not walk it together? We know each other too well and love each other too much to ever let this fade. You don't know how many times I wanted to just be an asshole and fight a guy for you but I wanted to prove to you I was better than those pieces of garbage. I figured the age old saying "actions speak louder than words" would help me but in this case, I had to say something!", Ken said with amusement.

"No…I saw but I was too scared. The Karate Maniac scared! Can you believe it?", Makoto said with a scowl. "You're right though, we're on the same path, always have been. I owe you so much for all you've done for me. I don't know how I ever would have made it without you beside me. So...cant we try? See how this goes? I...I love you, Ken".

The tears in her eyes were now flowing freely down her cheeks, flushed with the emotion she was feeling. It was out in the open now, no turning back. If she was turned down now, Makoto was certain she would die from the crushing pain known as a broken heart. She felt a chill go down her spine as Ken gently cupped her face into his soft hands & thumbed away her salty tears. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead softly to hers like he was absorbing the love from her.

"No more tears, no more rain", Ken whispered as he kissed her softly. As if taking a hint from the scene inside the tiny apartment, the rain outside tapered off & the clouds drift apart to reveal a night full of diamond twinkling stars & a full moon rising over Tokyo.

*~*~*~*

God do I love inspiration!!! I seriously didn't think I would write as much as I did or get so emotional. I figured I'd write a little snippet to go with Ken's POV but then the ideas started pulsing forward & here it is.

I hope you don't think I went too out of character. Ken is pretty much a blank slate since the Anime only featured him in one episode & he had like what…2 lines & a scream? And I thought with Makoto, since you don't see much of her past (on earth, not the Silver Millennium), I would make up stuff to coincide with their relationship without straying too far from her core personality.

If you didn't catch the song references, they are "Gimme Gimme Gimme (a man after midnight)", by ABBA, "You cant hurry love" by the Supremes, "Lovefool" by the Cartigans & "Can't we try?" by Collage & Rockell (Freestyle music baby!!). And Makoto's comments about being an emotion slut are a total nod to Sex & the City! LMAO! I seriously think underneath her tough exterior is a huge girly girl, so I noted that reference & noted the women's magazines. You can be girly & wear pants all the time, I should know, I do it!

Oh & Ebbie-sis, if you're reading this, you know where the crack about spices fixing food came from! XD! If anyway is curious about what that means, ask!


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